reblog if your birthday is not today

GO GIRL!!!! GIVE US ROT!!! GIVE US DECAY! RETURN TO THE EARTH

quaint lump goes the mile...

[x]

As I grow older I feel my capacity to understand that Miss Piggy is not a real person reached a peak in my adolescence and is now on a steady decline. I watched a Wendy Williams interview and there's this part that's like "can we get a ring cam!" and Miss Piggy shows her bling and I'm just like fuck she's so iconic. Miss Piggy who are you wearing? Miss Piggy have you ever considered running for office??

Like literally every time I see Miss Piggy there's a period where I need to readjust to the fact that it's not a person, and I feel that period is getting longer and longer with every instance

now all my Youtube recommendations are filled with Miss Piggy interviews. I’m not complaining. Miss Piggy what’s your secret to ageing so graciously

It's not just the audience; professional journalists, hosts, and actors report it is legitimately difficult to not see the Muppet as a person, and it is, in fact, incredibly easy to interview or act with them once the performer gets properly set up.

Like that one time they couldn't figure out why Kermit's audio was so garbage... then realized they'd put the mic on him instead of the performer.

this has been a very longstanding issue - before the muppet show was even a thing some muppets appeared in commercials, such as rolf the dog

they had a continual problem where when people directing/shooting the dogfood commercial would give dirrection to rolf that they would be speaking to the muppet, to which rolf REPEATEDLY had to tell them ‘i cant hear you, you have to talk to him’ and point at the performer underneath him

rolf is one of the most embarrassing muppets to need this direction as the performer is this, damn, obvious when not on camera

‘sir, i am a bathroom mat, the man you need to talk to is back there’

I did an interview with Gonzo one time, and when I got into the Zoom call, it was the actor on screen trying to figure out his audio. And then once he did, he went like “OKAY!” and then just like dove to the floor and it was Gonzo and there was never a moment when I doubted that the dude was just Gonzo’s tech guy 

You're just casually going to drop the fact that you interviewed Gonzo

RAHUL KOHLI as Napoleon Usher in 'The Fall of the House of Usher' (2023) trailer

i'm doing a wine course for my work and it's the stupidest thing ever. you're telling me this wine tastes like leather?? that's fucking ridiculous

"this wine has flavours of strawberry and plum" that is a straight up lie

"crushed rocks" WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

i love the pedestrian-to-car staredown when you see them go from a rolling stop to a full stop. like that's what the fuck i thought. vehicularly manslaughter me about it

The inherent homoeroticism of killing your enemy and immediately regretting it

It’s about rage, it’s about obsession, it’s about making that two-person war your entire raison d’être. It’s about loving and mistaking it for hatred and loving and loving and loving to the point of destruction. His or yours, it doesn’t matter. And you think seeing him dead at your feet will make you feel better, but all you feel is a whole lot of nothing.

The four giant planets of our Solar System, as seen by NASA's James Webb Telescope.

Hey kids, wanna learn what signs of botulism look like?

Since the sell by date wasn't for another 4 days I returned them. I was checking out at the store and I was like "i'm not sure you want to take them out of the bag" and he did and a passing manager was just like "That looks like a bomb, I'm just gonna take it to the back" and was off like a shot.

Okay but seriously, if you have a package of food like this or especially if you have a can that is bulging like this, it is literally full of poison, do not open it and absolutely positively do not eat it under any circumstances.

Any food packaging that is bulging has to be considered unsafe to eat. A lot of people who might be living on their own for the first time don't know what that looks like, and this is a really, really extreme example, but yeah if the top of a can has become slightly domed from internal pressure that's going to kill you, don't eat it.